um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
