dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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