Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
