I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just cropdusted the office
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
