Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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