You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
