Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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