Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
