you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
