Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
