You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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