Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
