i already hear my dad disowning me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
