We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize