I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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