Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize