it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
