Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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