did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
