i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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