Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
