Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
