so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Please don't give away my fajitas
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