I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
