Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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