This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
