YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
