I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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