Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
sarcasm needs its own font
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
