the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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