I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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