it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
