You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
