you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
