New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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