Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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