Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
