HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
