hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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