Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have grass duct taped all over my body
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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