Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
