Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
