I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
