I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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