Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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