you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I am naked and annoyed.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
