Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
