How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
