Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
