Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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