I just made out with a guy for $7.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize