Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
