My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
