Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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