i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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