just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
