I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize