update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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