I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think I sprained my soul last night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
