How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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