he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
