my vag is so smooth its legendary
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
